Wow. its been a long time, as usual, i dont update you very often, but i thought that maybe i should today.

So whats changed in the last while?? I finished highschool *high5*, I got UE and NCEA L3 *
Hi5*  I resigned from Westpac *high5* , i am dating the most incredible guy, that i never imagined i’d be with *hi5*, I got into law school *high5*, I moved outta home, and am making it on my own (sorta) HI5!!!!

But yup, life has changed a wee bit lately.. and so far i am freaking loving it :)

However…. i am struggling with uni, as i am a lazy fuck that dosent like to study or turn up to class! But its okay, i think that i may have to start getting into it soon, otherwise all my tut money will go down the drain, and my parents will be oh so disapointed, and i dont really wanna be a bum. so im gunna get into it and get A+’s ;)

Right time to go and study? I thinkies so :)

Shall write to you soon :)

xx -Bee

i was studying…

and then i saw a bottle of wine sitting there..

so i drank it to take the pressure off…

and now im drunk..

and trying to study…

but its not really working…

so i decided to update my blog, seeing as i havent done it in a while :). so exams are coming up in less than 4 weeks. and i am in panic mode. which is making things worse :( but oh well.

me and mel arnt mates any more. which is a bit of a shame. but hey friends come and go eh? and ive decieded what im doing next year… kinda! not sure about the details. but i know the outline of my plan. but hey if i keep drinking my wine. i wont even be able to leave high school! imagine repeating yr 13 bahahhahha. no thats not even funny. im in serious debt at the moment. what else has happened? dunno. this would be so much easier if i updated my blog on a regular basis eh?

blahhhhhhhhh. i hate studying. it sucks. but hey i guess i better get back to it???

ciaooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! xxx

have been going to harveys house alot, and eating all their food. feeel fat teehee. packed… my whole wardrobe into my suitcase… do i really need all those clothes for two weeks? i think so hahaha. ima miss my cats. =( me and vanessa had a good time in town today, kept running into people that we did not want to run into hahhaha. sorted out the larry dilema…! I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. grrrrrrrr despite how convincing he seems to sound :P im try and hit some booze ups in auzzie. i am sure i am going to die on this vaccation, personally jynxing myself i think but hey. INCASE this is my last post…

I LOVE YOU!! yes you :P the one reading this. and i hope that somebody can help world-peace happen. coz lifes too short to worry about shit like that. and ill ask MJ how he REALLY died, and ill get back to you :P and ill leave my laptop to vanessa rodie BAHAHHAHAHHA (vanessa you better love me for that ) and hopes that “amazing grace” faith hill version is played at my funeral… wow this is depressing, talking about me dying?! =/ i sound suasidal hahhahaha. nah but really, guna be a epic two weeks, get some quality family time ehhh =)…. =/ haaha.

anyways im off to try and take out some clothes from my suitcase =/

hehe.

-love Bee.

good choice Bee.

Love Bee.

havent seen you in a while, but seems like just yesturday that your hand was in mind, wish we could push rewind and go back to the days where nothing but ‘us’ mattered. sigh… thought i was over you, but there are still feelings that remain, and will probably never go away.

dont you know ive tried and ive tried to get you off my mind, but it dosent get easier as each day goes by.. the girl your with now, she’s pretty, sure.. you look happy with her, sure.. but do you two really have what we have..? the gorgeous summer nights where we just fell asleep on each other, dancing under the moon. those were the days that i wish would never end.

i am trying to get over you. but every time i see you, i just fall a little bit more in love with you.. i could never tell you that i was in love with you. what if you ran two million miles away…? but thinking back, what if you loved me back? and we were both scared of the future..

i know i messed up big time, and i know there’s no going back. but still, i cant hope that one day, you will come back to me. its up to fate now baby…

lesson learnt?

if you love somebody..? tell them you do, before its too late. coz sometimes it all crashes and burns. </3

B & S— memories.

great night on saturday night at niky’s 19th =)  he gave me a lap dance TEEHEE. met sum choice people, listened to people talking about their distructive relationships. BUT i told my mommy i was gunna go to mates place to go study *(haha typical) and she found out i was at a party wasted off my face. and is guna kick me out of the house coz meh. she dosent mean it. but i need to move out. i cant stand this house, the unjustified rules and boundries and curfews. i love my mommy and daddy, but just dont need this shit right now….

SO. i need to find a flat…SOON.

anybody need a flat mate?! i gots moneey!!! =)

but overall, life is pretty fab right now =) auzzie next week with the fam. so hey maybe we will bond, and not need to move out after all.

everything in my life just became all about apperances and materialistic things. THINGS dont make you happy, sure they make life easier, but they certainly cant love you back when you love them. PEOPLE is what you need. so hey step one, is to spend all my monneeey on others. hey! charity? sure why the fuck not.

and whats up with bitching about other people?? like you hear people walk around saying “blah blah blah, shes such a fugly uptight bitch.” and then turn around and pretend to be their bestfriend?? its beeccauusee people like US feel insecure about themselves to some extent… ok maybe thats just J****. but i bitch to make myself feel slightly better. but truth is? after i backstab somebody in the back (unless its C**** B****), it dosent feel too great. feels like shit.  i guess its like when i find out people say stuff about me behind my back, and its like hey bitch, if you have something to say, say it to my face. fuck. so hey step 2. stop bitching and backstabbing. it makes you look ugly.

i dont actually know what im writing about, all i know is that i am half asleep, and am feeling down =(

meh. buuuttt ima guna try and make sum new friends, and join a new crowd, yeah yeah i know, 2009 is going to be a fail of a year no matter what, but 2010, BRING IT. its guna be awesome!

oh yeah.

on a brighter note.

-i really am hating on guys at the moment… okay just one guy. people that know my secrets know what person i am talking about. FAGGOT CUNT ASSHOLE DICKFACE. yeah. guys suck. =( but but but its all guna be okay!

school, fuck its like where in the fuckin world am i going to be using my knowledge about shakespeare down the track, no benifit to me whatsoever, dont even let me get started on learning about the Maori/pakeha conflict shit that we learn. high school is bullshit, espcially with parents breathing down your neck checking if you are getting all E’s or whatever. exams are bullshit, you study hours and hours about something, and in the end its not even in the freaking exam. FUCK! FML

Need new friends, yeah i love my friends much. but something is missing…. miss CECILIA. bahhaha. hmm.. maybe i should just become a social reject and stay locked up in my house with my cats =/

Guy’s. dont even get me started. its like i go out. and its like “yeah i bought you a box of booze, took you to have a good time. so now you have to fuck me” or “wev been in this relationship and you still wont sleep with me” blah blah blah. Sex is overrated. but if your plan is to take me out and SLEEP with me. you can get fucked. ( not literally hahha) oh god i am not in the mood for jokes. its like sex sex sex blah blah blah. take a hint. go and fuck yourself, coz you are just plain fuckin ugly.

great rant i just had there =)  but hey cant wait for next year, guna quit my job, move down south into the cold, get a flat with some good old boy’s, catch up with the girls from way back, coz they are the friends that really matter, that liked me even when i WAS  a dork :P yeah yeah i still am. and have my own car, so that guys wont feel like i owe them a one night stand for taking me out. cant wait =) plus.. ill be the big 1 8!! chaaahooo. and then get married, and have babies, and become a housewife, and get fat from the pregnancy, and cry because i took my youth for guranted. Hah. lifes great :]

till my next rant. =)

xx

1. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go “Damn!” and then laugh appreciatively to yourself – we can hear you.

2. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

3. If you don’t act like soap-opera guys, don’t expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

4. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

5. There is no such thing as too much spooning.

6. Just because you L the C doesn’t mean we have to S the D.

7. This is how we see it . . . Don’t call = Don’t Care.

8. Which also means that if we don’t call, take the hint.

9. We like you to be a little jealous . . . but overly possessive is not necessary.

10. Putting things in our butt does not turn us on.

11. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

12. Foreplay is not an option . . . its a prerequisite.

13. We’re allowed to be late . . . you are not.

14. Eye contact is key.

15. Don’t take longer to get ready than we do.

16. Laugh at our jokes.

17. Three words . . . honesty, honesty, honesty.

18. Girls can be groupies. Guy groupies are stalkers.

19. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

20. Do not start with us. You will not win… not kidding .. we ALWAYS win

21. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn’t think so.

22. If you ask nicely, we usually answer the same way.

23. We will never have enough clothes or shoes! Ever!

24. We have an excuse to act bitchy at least once a month. Come on guys…most of you have more PMS then us girls..

25. Open the door for us no matter where we are . . . even at our house and getting into the car. I know it seems like a lot but is it that hard?

26. We love surprises!

27. We liked to be kissed softly, not with an iron tongue.

28.Pay attention to the little things we do, because they mean the most.

29. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometiems . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

30. Clean your room before we come over.

31. Always brush your teeth before you see us . . . a fresh mouth and white teeth are a necessity plus we do the same for you.

32. When we use our teeth it means that you suck at going down on us, so we are just returning the favor.

33. Even though you are sometimes insensitive and hurt us, we still love you with everything we are.

34. Sometimes even when you think we hate you, we don’t, we just want you to apologize so we can be allowed to love you again

35. Don’t act hard around your friends because I won’t make you hard tonight. AKA don’t be an ass

36. Sometimes “NO!” really means “NO!”

37. “Wife Beaters” are not an adequate form of fashion.

38. If we wanted to be on video tape, we’d be a porn star not your girlfriend.

39. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn’t right.

40. Don’t let ex-girlfriends cause drama, relationships are stressful enough!!!!!

41. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays.

42. Guys who are good cuddlers = guys who know how to satisfy a woman.

43. “Fat Chicks” have feelings too–all chicks have feelings.

44. Silent treatment + shoulder shrugs + tears + yelling + nasty looks = YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG!

45. If you are not a good dancer, please be self-aware.

46. Just because a girl doesn’t pick up on the first ring doesn’t mean she’s not waiting by the phone.

47. You don’t have to spend a lot, if it means a lot.

48. Don’t say you love me if you don’t mean it.

49. Don’t lie to us . . . we will catch you…eventually we always catch you.

50. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends knows everything about you.

51. Don’t Make Promises You Can’t Keep

2. “Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something?” ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re going to say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile when they’re attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

10. Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind..” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys’ weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.”

37. Guys don’t really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of us.

52. We don’t like girls who are too skinny.

53. We love it when girls talk about there ass.

54. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy , like whether it’s a one time deal or not .

55. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to. It may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours.

56. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually.

57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it, it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn’t intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that after you let him know a couple times.

60. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.